Peace, Walk, Now: Chapter 3, Rad AF

Radical Acts of Freedom

August 2017 - Española, New Mexico

Two Weeks Later

All was going well at the ashram.

Read Chapter 1: Part-Time Disruptor

Read Chapter 2: Paradigm Shift

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Well, sort of.

Except for the one super important thing that brought me to Española to begin with—not being able to see my kids daily. (Believe it or not, I was seeing even less of them in Española. LOL.)

And except for the part about the daily chore schedule. (I was hoping ashram life would be relaxing. But the daily chores were getting to be, well, a chore.)

And except for the part about waking up by 4 A.M. every day to go to the ashram for group meditation. (4 A.M.? Seriously? What was I thinking?)

Technically, I had read about all these requirements on the ashram website when I signed up to volunteer.

And except for the part I didn’t know about before arriving, that wasn’t mandatory, but highly recommended to form solidarity with the ashram community—the part about reading out loud from the book on Sikh Dharma that Yogi Bhajan had selected years ago for morning devotion.

My issue with reading from Yogi Bhajan’s recommended book was that I didn’t know anything about it. I didn’t know if I believed in, consented to, or agreed with what was written in this book. I needed more time to understand it and comprehend what it was about before I used the power of my word to profess its words into reality and solidify a truth I hadn’t yet fully assessed or conceded to. This would have been the same for me for any book. (I’ll get to Bible study later when we get to Portland, Oregon—after I joined the second disbanded cult that wasn’t a cult, that I didn’t know was/wasn’t a cult. LOL!)

I guess you can say this was all predictable.

The ashram informally interviewed people interested in volunteering and living there ahead of time to confirm that it would be a good mutual fit. They specifically invited volunteers who wanted to share in the ashram-living lifestyle (yoga retreat, or no yoga retreat), who had filled out a 10-page questionnaire about their goals and interests in living at the ashram.

When I filled out my 10-page questionnaire, I fully expected it to be a fit.

I was ecstatic to be invited. I felt wanted, and like I finally had some forward momentum to give my emerging “new person” to help her sort through her life troubles and make sense of the world again.

However, when the summer kundalini yoga program ended, the dozens of yoga students wandering the ashram grounds left, and the excitement and exhilarating buzz that comes with a yoga retreat faded—like, immediately.

Life and activity at Española slowed down overnight, and I discovered that the 4 A.M. thing was, in fact, my biggest problem.

To stay with the volunteer program, it was recommended that we go to bed at a certain time—approximately 8 P.M. Lights out.

Maybe 9 P.M. at the latest. But no joke, lights out.

The female volunteers housed together in a designated volunteer cottage. The male volunteers had their own cottage, and intermingling between men and women was prohibited after hours. Yogi Bhajan’s ashram was smoke-free, drug-free, alcohol-free, meat-free, and sex-free (unless you were married, but this only applied to the volunteer coordinators who housed together).

I could handle not smoking, not drinking alcohol, not eating meat, being drug-free and abstinent. These were easy. And I didn’t think that lights out by 9 P.M. would be a super big deal for me either…

Except, it totally was.

…a SUPER big deal.